#they would be traumatized... but they aren't

[eluminium]

What your favorite Hermit says about you! (In the style of Blake Jennings)

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN AND JEST. NONE OF THESE ARE TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. Also all of these are based mostly on vibes and minimally on research. If you wanna check out the guy whose videos inspired this post, you can click here.

WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY, ONTO THE SHAMING!

BdoubleO100: Chronic scratcher. You've never thrown a proper punch in your life but my god you've turned multiple people's arms into segmented paper after they looked at you funny.

Cubfan135: It's low-hanging fruit to say you're the most neurodivergent person in any room you enter. It's high-hanging fruit to say you're the neurodivergent who spends uncomfortable amounts of time in games like The Sims or People Playground perfecting your handmade torture chambers and killing machines.

DocM77: Horny jail. Your W.I.Ps would get you flogged by a priest in the town square, and there's a non-zero chance you'd actually be into that.

Ethoslab: A majority of the time, you're relatively normal passing. But the times you aren't you are a magnitude 10 quirkquake. This is both an insult and a compliment.

Falsesymmetry: Ah, perfectionists. You poor lot are masters at getting stuck in the "wanting things to be perfect vs knowing you don't have enough skill to make it perfect" loop which leads you into doing nothing and then developing depression.

Geminitay: Out of every hermit fanbase, Gem mains are the ones I believe most when they say they'd kill and die for their hermit. Like everyone else you can just go "haha funny! I am also a fan of hyperbolic humour" but with Gemboys you're not quite sure if bestie is joking or admitting to premeditated assault.

Grian: I get the feeling that you are the type of person who, when asked what you want to eat, will say "I'm fine with anything!" but you'll get genuinely frustrated if they pick something you didn't want.

GoodtimeswithScar: You guys are the embodiment of the bed of nails vs one nail phenomenon. The most traumatic thing could happen to you and you're like "eh" but if a stranger called you mid you would start sobbing.

Hypnotizd: WHERE ARE YOU?! What kind of dark, hidden discord servers do you people hide in??? Hypno mains are like the goddamn Higgs-Boson, finding evidence of one existing in public is damn near impossible but you MUST EXIST or there would be a fundamental error in the fabric of the universe. I can't even poke fun at you because I CANNOT FIND YOU.

iJevin: I'm guessing Vulture Culture is very important to you. If it's not, it's only a matter of time until it will be.

ImpulseSV: You, like him, are a cavalcade of undiagnosed mental disorders that you don't feel like getting treated. Really, the only difference between you and him is the fact that you are a lesbian.

Joe Hills: Your right-wing older relatives call you a woke leftist and your cousins call you a weirdo. What no one will call you is a maladaptive daydreamer because you've at least got the sense to keep that to yourself at family reunions.

Keralis: *sigh* Daddy kink. And that's all the descriptive words you deserve because you are neither slick nor subtle with it.

MumboJumbo: He is babygirl. You want to be babygirl. You are not babygirl. You're sitting on your throne of bones and this man is the bunny you pet while you watch the heroes lose to you in children's card games.

PearlescentMoon: Hello art kids! Specifically, art kids who could not have a normal student-teacher relationship with art teachers. There was at least one art teacher in your life who either adored you or hated your guts and which one you got completely depended on how neurodivergent YOU were and how neurodivergent THEY were. (This includes all forms of art)

Rendog: People who are most likely to be turned into bangmaids by their boyfriend/girlfriend. Look, it's completely okay that you like your partners a little bit cringe and pathetic and dumb, but remember that weaponized incompetence is not sexy!

Skizzleman: You have daddy issues, or you have intimacy issues. You could even have both. Whatever you have, you NEED to seek therapy because he cannot fix you.

Smallishbeans (Joel): You're the type of person who's kinda obsessed with the idea of biting people as a show of affection. Which is unfortunate because associating that behavior with a brunette British man historically hasn't ended well.

TangoTek: Oh my god, PICK A STRUGGLE. Are you addicted to having 500 problems at once and 65% of them are self-inflicted? I can't think of any other reason you'd do these things to yourself because it's not like you ENJOY this, you meet every single battle with the disposition of a SOAKED CAT.

VintageBeef: I know you'd lose ALL self-respect if you met a man (or woman) like Beef in a bar or club. Like, biblical levels of self-disrespect. You'd lose all morals, all convictions, everything you've ever known about the world and yourself, just for a chance. I don't know if it's admirable or really, really sad.

Welsknight: Oof, how's that religious trauma treating you? If you were brought up in a non-religious environment, swap this out with that emptiness you feel when you realize you will never be able to truly convince yourself to believe in any faith, even if you want to.

xBCrafted: Hey diva, how's your mid-to-late 20s going? Still having a crisis over being able to drink fewer and fewer glasses of wine without feeling like death in the morning? Oh, you're not in your mid-to-late 20s? Damn, you've probably been called an old soul your entire life, and I'm not sure you've realized yet that it's not a good thing.

Xisumavoid: It's hard to pick on you guys because you already have it hard enough, so let me give you some advice instead. DO NOT DATE THAT TRADWIFE/TATER TOT YOU'RE CHECKING OUT. I know the temptation is there but YOU CANNOT FIX THEM. THEY WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE.

Zedaph: You could not explain your gender identity to your cishet family members if you tried. Honestly, you couldn't explain it to your fellow gays either. You have ascended to gender beyond most people's imagination.

ZombieCleo: You have a thing for authority, don't you? You want nothing more than for a person higher up the food chain to tell you straight up what to do at all times so you don't have to navigate the minefield that is small talk with people you don't know.

And that's all of them! Thank you for reading through this project of mine! If the comment under your favorite hermit doesn't fit you, feel free to write your own in the tags or something. Or yell at me for being stupid and dumb and bad and knowing nothing about you. We love free will and attention here at the Eluminium Tumblr blog.

[saucydragonist]

Trump and many many many many many many many many many many many many many many more people would be dead.

Many many many many disabled people wouldn't have to rip their spines apart to afford foods. People with jobs, with actual pay, aren't threatened of their livelihood for a weekend off.

ICE members would be deported to Starving island for their crimes on children and innocent adults.

Luigi Mangione would be unharmed and free.

We wouldn't have man-children hating vaccines. We wouldn't have to constantly fight to help the LGBTQ to be safe and open. We wouldn't have to deal with abusive, neglective, or murderous parents of traumatized children, and CPS would not be the absolute last source for a kid but not before death. Kids would not have internet access to the internet before 14. Ai wouldn't be mass produced and trained for worthless production and waste. Homeless people wouldn't be on the streets. SSI would be better organized and actually pay for needs. Taxes wouldn't be a 4th of a working man's paycheck. Billionaires (if they even exist) would be taxed 50%.

Just do your fucking job for the community, people.

[lady-corrine]

Lol. Lmao even 😭

Interviewer: Why did DC ruin Nightwing and Starfire's wedding and broke them up?

Marv: it was a MISTAKE! a DISASTER even! 😭

[joyfulhottubfuntik]

While I don't mind it when Caryn is portrayed as a very affectionate and caring mother or when Shermie (if he's older) is portrayed as present in the twins' lives and trying to help them, I don't really like either of these interpretations.

Cause to me a huge part of the Stan twins' conflict, the thing that separates them a lot from Dipper and Mabel, is that they only had each other. It was just them against the world, defending each other and leaning on each other.

Like, not only were they not raised to be two separate people, they didn't even have an opportunity to escape that. And a part of why their fall out hurt both of the brothers so terribly is that it left them both completely alone, stripped of the only support system they had known

[lenodrysalad]

"Eddie said he's straight! Buck said Eddie was straight! Buck said he's not in love with his best friend! They shut down Buddie in the show it isn't happening ya'll are delusional! Queerbait! Queerbait! Blah blah blah"

I feel like I'm going insane. I'm sure we're all tired of people shouting "media literacy" every five seconds, but like... Yeah, develop some media literacy, please.

I'm saying this as someone who doesn't usually like romance, despite being subjected to it in basically every piece of media. As someone who doesn't generally look for love stories. As someone who loved Buddie but didn't consider any serious possibility of it becoming canon before season 7/8, who refused to believe Buddie was truly happening until I couldn't deny it anymore: this episode is loud.

Please understand how narrative arcs work. How character arcs work. How character development works. How serial broadcast television works. Understand how writing works. Consider context; take the whole episode, the whole season, and the whole series into account instead of treating things like they exist in isolation.

I'm too tired to go through the step-by-step details of the episode to prove why these, "they said it on screen, therefore..." takes are shortsighted and ignorant; plenty of people have done that already.

But that episode, even if we do take it in isolation, is textbook. Do people really take everything characters say at face value? Do people not watch other character's reactions? Listen to what else is being said? Watch what is being shown? Consider the implications? Themes? Narrative devices?

Consider that maybe, just maybe, characters can be unreliable narrators, or believe something to be true only for that belief to change later. These things don't happen in one episode. There's such a thing as set-up, foreshadowing, the starting point of a plot. 911 is a serial drama, therefore it is going to have A) long-form story and character arcs, and B) drama.

Characters are not going to move in straight lines, or talk in therapy speak, or solve every problem in an hour. They are not always going to be right, or self-aware, or truthful, or rational. Direct dialogue does not equate to honest dialogue.

Also, saying, "well in real life, people do this, I do that, their feelings would be this, yadda yadda yadda" means nothing. Your experiences are not universal, and more importantly, this is a work of fiction. Realism is whatever the story says it is; it's going to do whatever creates the most dramatic, interesting, developmentally beneficial, or emotionally satisfying story. Whether you like that story or not is irrelevant to the fact that stories are not going to cater to all your expectations or real-world experiences.

To people pointing to Tim or the actor's interviews as "proof" they're shutting down Buddie: again, please understand how broadcast television works. They are not going to tell us everything that's going to happen before it happens. They are going to play the neutral zone, the "wait and see," the "will they/won't they." They are going to lie. That is television production 101. You can compare what they've said in the past with canon and list all the contradictions, misdirection, and twists you didn't see coming because they didn't spoil it for you. Watch the show. That is the canon.

They're also not catering to fandom--people they already know are devoted to the show, familiar with Buddie, and consistently tuning in. They're introducing the idea of Buddie to the general audience, people who likely haven't considered the possibility before. The GA has to see that Buddie is an option, so the show needs to manifest it as if it's a brand new concept. This episode pulled the pin on that grenade in a very obvious way; the idea that Buck could be in love with Eddie and that Eddie could not be straight has been planted. The next seed will be Eddie's feelings. Now the show needs to water it and let it grow.

One last thing. Been seeing a fair amount of hand-wringing and condescension over people interpreting this episode differently. As if this is some sort of "gotcha" for bad writing, baiting, or people being stupid. Listen, genuine complaints about this show's writing aside, different interpretations or inferences are completely normal. This isn't unique. That is how people interact with stories, through personal biases, experiences, emotions, and expectations. That isn't inherently a bad thing. It's totally fine to have your own views; media is all about interpretation.

However, it is also true that just because you have an interpretation, that doesn't make it true. Not all interpretations are equal in their validity, evidence, or warrants. The show has an intention, it has a story in mind. If you don't see it, sure, that could be a failure of the writing, but it could also very well be a failure of your analysis, especially when the show hasn't finished telling the story. Looking at one thing in isolation and forming your whole conclusion based around that makes for poor critique.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see who's right.

[fanatic-freakshow]

I've realized the beauty of sign language.

We can communicate even like this.

I've never needed to hear you say you love me.

Everything you've done for me makes me know you love me deeply.

SEE YOUR LOVE

[plinko-mori]

I personally think Mori isn't too «I will control everything» because he trusts the Port Mafia (at some point that I'm too lazy to explain right now) and he knows his people are responsible

But his view “end justifies the means” kinda helps the mafia to not get punished???? Lol

Fic I just read: Mori is overworking Chuuya!!!!! Because he’s evil!!!!!!!!

My brain: No no no, wrong! Chuuya is overworking himself and Mori is begging him to take a break. Mori is trying to trick Chuuya into taking it easy and Chuuya is ready to bite him for it

Mori is very laissez-faire in his leading role, sure he got his own agenda and plots stuff still and all that but most of the time when something happens we learn it was someone else's own doing and he just, did nothing to stop or punish it.

Akutagawa infiltrated the Mobi Dick, against orders, and Mori just shrugged it off because it worked out in the end. Ace captured Fyodor on his own and loudly announced he wanted to talk to him himself, Kouyou got instantly suspicious and Mori just let him be to see if Ace was any good. Kouyou tried to get Kyouka back on her own and ended up getting captured, conspiring with Dazai, and only coming back much later, but Mori shrugged it off too. We also have many instances of Dazai going off to do his own plan (against Verlaine, during the Dragon's Head Conflict, in Dead Apple) and Mori just following along like it's nothing. And just look at Verlaine being sad in his basement still being promoted to executive for, what, being a good teacher?

He is simply not that controlling. He probably just lists what needs done in meetings and lets his people pick their own assignments and lets them delegate those tasks (VERY important when in a leading position btw) too. He wants results and doesn't care much how it happens, or what his people do on their own time. He takes recommendations, he lets people do their own thing. This is what we were shown of their meetings!!

Anyway. Mori overworking anyone would be a sign that everyone is in big trouble and overworked. Gotta be efficient and optimal! Executives alert and healthy much more optimal.

[rachandroll]

I can't stop thinking about just how emblematic everything in those conversations of Ashton being "a child" are of how, even at her most beaten down, triggered and traumatized, Laudna is not and will not be what Delilah wants her to be.

For Delilah, "they're still a child" is dismissive, a bit derisive, but doesn't even merit being truly hateful. She doesn't find Ashton worth the attention Laudna is giving them, not when there are such more interesting, important things to pull the attention of an adult. Children are only important when they are useful. She will indulge Laudna on the subject, because Laudna is useful, is her vehicle for action in the world, but she only cares about it in the context of getting Laudna to do what she wants. Calling someone a child is calling them unimportant. (Laudna is a child to her)

But for Laudna, who loves children and who understands intimately what it's like to have the helplessness of child, to be trapped under the authority of someone who will never treat you as a full person, even when they are being ostensibly kind, to be so confused and lost and powerless...a child deserves attention more than anyone else. Of course children lash out. Being a child IS in many ways quite awful because the world is so big around you and you don't know yet how to react to any of it, how to soothe yourself - and if you aren't given the attention, you never learn how. Ashton never learned how. Her instincts - instincts trained into her by manipulation and abuse from inside and the world around her - may say kill him, but she fights them the whole way because her heart is stronger and her heart says that the angriest, most volatile child needs care as much as any other. More, even.

Laudna hears Delilah call Ashton a child and agrees on the word, but they have diametrically opposed understandings of what that means, and diametrically opposed instincts on how to treat a child. Laudna doesn't want to hurt anyone, especially children. She loves children. She loves so much and so selflessly. And Delilah is so very very good at manipulating her but she has tried for 30 years to change the bedrock of Laudna's psyche, the truer thing that drives her beyond the base animal instincts of survival, and it hasn't worked.

[thisisntreaver]

Hello I have once again upset myself thinking about Logan an the effect Aurora had on him and his relationships.

Walter is a father figure to him and HOBW and their relationship is in TATTERS, and as far as canon shows, it's never mended.

Does Logan believe the man who raised his sibling and took care of him after Sparrows death died hating him? Does he believe Walter only saws the bad in him? Does it have any impact on his decision to go into his self-imposed exile? Does he regret not telling Walter about what happened to him in Aurora soonee??

Did he and Walter ever have a chance to reconcile, to speak of what happened to them on their respective trips to Aurora? Did he ever express regret for Logan feeling as if he couldn't speak of what happened to him?

Did Walter ever embrace Logan as one of his own again, or did they stay away because of their history?

[incomingalbatross]

This is an unpolished and untested thought but I think at this point the only way I'd be interested in "portal fantasy as child abuse" fiction is if you had TWO former protagonists of different portal fantasies in conversation, and one of them is traumatized and the other experienced growth and empowerment and is literally fine.

[iamumbra195]

I hate when people talk about Ashler like it’s inconceivable to ship them.

They’ll be like “Oh, they had so much beef, they’re barely even friends.” Genuinely asking here, have you even read the webtoon if you think that?

Tyler had issues with practically everyone at the beginning, hell, most of the kids didn’t even like each other. Ben, Aiden, Ashlyn, and Logan all thought he was a jerk and he was acting like one because he was trying to protect himself and Taylor and the whole situation was stressful as hell. That’s why his character development is so good. Even Ashlyn remarks that he’s being less of a jerk in one chapter and Taylor says that he's begun to see the others as real friends, maybe even family.

They all eventually became allies and then friends, including Ashlyn and Tyler. Sure, they like to throw some sarcastic remarks at each other but that’s just their sense of humour and part of the appeal of their friendship. Same with Aiden and Tyler, they insult each other all the time but the insults that were originally meant to hurt are now used affectionately.

He gave Ashlyn a nickname guys. He gave a jokey nickname to cheer her up because she felt terrible about the fact that she had to leave him behind while he got terribly hurt, while he died. She literally started crying out of guilt and being overwhelmed by the whole situation. She cares about him and he cares about her and the whole gang cares about each other, which is why there are so many ships in the fandom to begin with.

So stop acting like anyone who ships Ashler is stupid and stop saying ‘they’re like siblings’ on every post about them. We know it’s probably not gonna be canon, hell, Red herself said romance isn’t the focus of the webtoon at all.

I don’t even like shipping in general but the TikTok fandom keeps pissing me off. Stop acting like everyone has to ship the same things as you and stop commenting shit like ‘cute edit but I wish it was Aidlyn’ or ‘They’re just friends, they act like siblings’. Like yeah, they’re not canon but you’d have to be blind if you couldn’t see why some people ship it. Stop shitting on people’s ships and let them have their fun, we all know they’re not canon.

NONE OF THEM ARE.

Anyway, that’s the end of my rant. Sorry, I keep getting Ashler hate every time I search it up on TikTok. It’s so stupid and annoying, let people ship who they want in peace and stop undermining Ashlyn and Tyler's canon friendship and character development to shit on people’s ships. It’s an insult to the characters and your ability to read between the lines.

Live, Laugh, Love Ashler.

[footnoteinhistory]

How I feel every time someone on filmtwt says "omg when are they gonna make a movie about PSH!! and Cooper should be in it!"

[shorlinesorrows]

qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

[princessofghosts-posts]

Me on my way to overanalyze every character know do death because they are extremely traumatized and "it's not even that deep bro." (Spoiler: it's not even that deep bro,it's more):

[dangerous-advantage]

(Image description below 'read more' line.)

[Image ID: A four-by-four alignment chart on a white background with text descriptions to the left and to the top of the squares.

The top left description reads, "seems like they'd be good at parenting." The top right description reads, "seems like they'd be bad at parenting."

Then, from the top down, to the left of the squares, the other set of descriptions reads: "excellent child rearing instincts," and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Each of the four squares contains an image of a different character. At the top left is an image of Lan Wangji of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the descriptors "seems like they'd be good at parenting," and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the top right square sits an image of Wei Wuxian, also of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the junction of "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the bottom left square is an image of Xie Lian from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the square with the captions, "seems like they'd be good at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Finally, in the bottom left square, sits an image of Hua Cheng from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the junction between "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life". /End ID]

[sage-nebula]

So I have only seen episode 90 so far (since subs aren't yet out for 91 and probably won't be until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest I'd wager), but I have to say . . . no offense to his fans, no offense to whoever decided to include him in this show for whatever reason, but . . .

. . . Uruto is mega-fucking-annoying.